If you ask a zionist or a settler, he will tell you there is no such thing. Palestine is a mere ficticious biblical name temporarily assigned to the home of the israelis, their ''promise land''. Ask someone from the palestinian authority, he will tell you the borders of palestine are the 67 borders ( the west bank and the gaza strip) . Ask a member of hamas and he will tell you that since there is no such thing as israel , then palestine is the land that stretches from the northern border with lebanon down to the negev desert and from the mediterranean to the border with jordan. ask a member of the UN and he will tell you it is not yet a state and that since israel is recognised with world consensus , palestine is the remainder of ''historical palestine'' after partition plan 181. Pose the same question to a bedouin, he will tell you his palestine is where the wind takes him. Ask a peasant he will say it is the seasons, the earth, and every beautiful thing in this world. A pierced teenager somewhere in germany will most likely stare at you and after several minutes of thinking ask,''pakistan?''.
A philosopher will tell you it is a ''state of mind'', A realist will call it a lost cause , and the israeli government will reply mysteriously ,''it is the palestinian territory''-naturally without specifying what the appropriate territory for the palestinians might be. An eighty year old refugee will take a key out of his pocket and stare at it with nostalgia , while his six year old granddaughter will say it is an image she formed in her head after hearing stories from her father and grandfather. Coexistence and peace enthusiasts will try to remove the barrier between palestine and israel and tell you they should both be one country living in peace and prosperity –ignoring the fact that they are in fact separated by an 8 meter wall and that the two sides, well, don't fancy each other much.
Ask a poet, he will say it is an unspoken language that can only be seen and felt by those who search for it. A politician/writer will say it is a cause and right and country to be liberated line by line. A poor man will mutter something about feeding his children and lower his gaze .A defeatist will either smirk at you or look almost sorry for you. A christian will tell you it is the birthplace of jesus christ and the land in which he was crucified and from which he rose to heaven. A sheikh will define it as the land to which the prophet muhammad flew on the back of the buraq and then rose to the seven heavens. A teenage mujahed will –after asking if there are women in heaven- tell you it is a land worth dying for while carichaturists following the footsteps of Naji Al -Ali will in a small sketch and a sentence tell you it is the missing facial features of a ten year old refugee.
On a map it is drawn differently by different people, sometimes drawn in full size with the sad title ''historical palestine'' on top , at times shown across the years all the way from 1947-2009 with the color representing ''palestine'' shrinking at an exasperating rate and with the color representing ''israel'' spreading like the plague. In books it is depicted in either expressive geographical descriptions of landscape, historical descriptions of catastrophes or in symbolism filled with heros, handala , stone throwers and blood.
No matter how you choose to define it, the palestinian experience can only be summed up as a''melting pot of emotions''. The palestinian experience consists of going through emotions of surrender , resistance, strength , weakness, faith, hope, religiousness and atheism , emotions of a lifetime all cramped into every single day of a palestinian's existence. It is walking through the via dolorosa to see a man carrying a wooden cross ;pass by an orthodox jew awaiting god in mamilla; observing a military car parked outside the dome of the rock mosque as young boys throw curses at you. Being palestinian means a constant search for identity , and the struggle between identity and ID. It means never truly acquiring a singular , independent identity because somehow in the end, no matter how hard you try, the palestinian identity seems to overpower any other.
Whether you resist because you are palestinian or if you are palestinian because you resist is a matter to be argued by many. Some will tell you that every palestinian is a fighter and deserves to be honored while some will tell you they are at fault for choosing the government that monopolised their land, sold their country and worked magic on foreign aid to make it dissapear into the abyss. The truth of the matter is that those who try to monopolise resistance as a trait of the palestinians' cause are fooling themselves. Resistance existed long before the cause did, and so did perseverance. And not all palestinians resist. There are those who gave up far before the word go.
The palestinian experience is the crossroads every palestinian reaches in his life. A choice of either continuing along with his life in search of a separate identity, sometimes but rarely acquired ; or, of committing him or herself to the cause out of a sense of responsibility or because of his love for the homeland. Palestine is something that was forced upon us –thankfully- and I cannot help but wonder whether or not we would be so patriotic if palestine were free. The answer would for the most part be no. and therefore we cannot help but feel torn . the occupation of our land has educated us on freedom, strength , perseverance , steadfastness, corruption and surrender. And perhaps the question is not where we find palestine, or what defines it but rather: would it matter to us anymore if it were ours?
- Sara Johanne Ayad 29. juni 2009
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